Siwen Huang

Synopsis

The crowdedness and noise in urban spaces, involving society’s constructed norms in human interaction, affect Ita's long-term mental health, prompting her to search for an alternative way of being in nature and gain inspiration from the moss in the forest to persevere through daily struggles.

Ita is an international postgraduate student based in Edinburgh; she struggles with urban living in general, for instance, the unbearable noise and crowdedness in the busy streets. What she finds even more difficult to navigate are the expectations and norms of social interactions alongside misunderstandings towards her long-term neurodivergent and mental conditions. In response, she retreats into nature and gains inspiration from the moss in the forest, where she constructs a dreamlike inner world. She gains strength from this mental sanctuary, which she visits every week, to cope with everyday challenges and the realities of life she must confront.

Biography

Siwen Huang is a Chinese filmmaker who graduated from the University of Lancaster with a BA Hons Film and Theatre and is pursuing her Master’s program in MA Film Directing at Edinburgh College of Art, the University of Edinburgh. She has production experience across various roles, directing, cinematography, editing, and sound design in both short fiction and documentary films.

She is the DoP of a short fiction film ‘It's Just a Parcel’, which won Best Student Film Awards at the Caravan International Film Festival in 2023. The film also got into the final list of the Athens International Monthly Art Film Festival. She directed a short experimental film, 'E-MOTION', in 2024, which utilised rich colour motifs and metaphorical montage sequences, revealing the need for meaning-seeking behind the character's internal struggles, presenting a dream-like experience with artistic expression.

Siwen’s work often explores themes related to a sense of belonging, nature, and personal growth. Several films of hers depicted the experiences of individuals with mental conditions and neurodivergent experiences. She experiments with abstract imagery in visual styles. By using visceral filmic languages to transform individual experiences and emotions, Siwen directed a documentary in her MA program that aims to immerse the audience in the rich, sensitive and profound inner world of the contributor. Following and resonating with the contributor‘s finding relief in nature as an alternative space, despite her struggles in the overwhelming constructed urban life.

Director's statement (Siwen)

As an emotional and sensitive person, I'm always curious about how people find relief while they struggle with long-term mental illness without a permanent solution, realising the inner world of an individual is more complicated than most of us could imagine. That they can suffer from an unbearable level of unseen stress and aren’t able to receive suitable care, understanding and support from others.

During interviews with my contributor Ita, I noticed a subtle sense of relief during the process of sharing and reflecting on her own experiences. I believe that a documentary can act as a vehicle to express those inner experiences that wouldn’t be conveyed in such a rich, vivid manner otherwise. I was moved and satisfied when Ita mentioned the documentary helped her parents to understand her situation more, despite having just seen a rough, incomplete version of it.

The process of making this documentary has developed my reflection regarding the value of individual experiences. I am grateful that Ita shared her authentic and genuine experience with me during the production, providing inspiration and courage for my filmmaking journey and potential audience. During the production of this film, in order to find the story, the documentary has changed massively; it was composed of conversational, in-sync interviews and interactions between Ita and myself, as we became friends through our shared experiences and intimate, emotional reflections.

Athough, I found that drawing the focus solely onto Ita and her inner experiences, the film becomes a more focused narrative, conveying the meaning with clarity. Despite diverse ways of meaning and seeking need as well as our differences in language; cultural backgrounds; living experiences and mental conditions, I naturally came to know more about Ita with; her struggle and perseverance within urban settings; her unavoidable difficulties in social situations and the pains these have brought her.

For Ita, the forest is a sanctuary; it is not only a place to escape from urban chaos, but also an emotional habitat with unreplaceable beauty that welcomes her as an observer and nourishes her soul. Moss, as the main motif in this documentary, carries a strong living philosophy for Ita, a resilient and unpretentious being that can grow and thrive in an extreme environment. During the filming process, I gradually realised that Ita enjoys her solitude and there are no distinct narrative changes in the documentary, reflecting her personality and habits. Instead of using the footage where I talk to Ita behind the camera, I decided to let her enjoy her own space and recreate her inner world with the use of point-of-view and observational shots.

I encourage the audience to experience Ita’s inner world to understand her mental condition and feelings, joining her on an imaginative and dream-like journey brought by this documentary.